28/02/17 - 10/04/20
Human family: Ken & Rachel
Photo(s) of Miss KiKi Cooper-Jessney (1)

Miss KiKi Cooper-Jessney

So... KiKi, my precious baby I wish more than anything I could change what happened to you. I wish that I never went away. I wish I could go back and change everything and do things differently so you would still be here with me. I wish that I could have protected you and prevented what happened to you. I wish I was there for you so you never suffered. But nothing will change what happened. But I miss you deeply. I feel so much pain that you’re gone. Pain for your suffering, pain for the circumstances I cannot change, and pain that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. You didn’t leave this world the way I imagined, the way I wanted for you. You left as the result of a mistake, a fateful error in judgment, a careless blunder. I wish I as your protector could have done something , anything , to make the outcome different.

You’re not there but I will remember you. I will remember how from the moment I set eyes on you I loved you. The runt of the litter following your big sister around and the last to be picked. I went for one cat and came out with two. You instantly gave me purpose. I will remember how you waited patiently for me to commute home those days I worked long hours and I used to run from the train station to come and see you , so filled with love I couldn’t wait any longer , I had to run home. You were there for me through what possibly was depression, struggling with my new job you were my work From Home companion.

I honestly felt like a real parent , I remember seeing you cross the road by the roundabout and I beeped at you , parked the car at home , walked down to the roundabout where you were hiding in a bush nervously , I gave you the bollocking of your life and made you walk home with me. That’s the first time I ever felt like this was parenting. It’s the only time you ever upset me. I’ve never been so angry with love , and that’s because you were my daughter and I worried about you and loved beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I was your dad. I always worried this would happen to you , I know there has been a few nights where I’ve had to roam the streets to make sure you were ok and not hurt or injured. I could never stop you exploring...every neighbour knew you. You loved life , you loved to play ,you were curious , funny & the cutest, chatty girl I could have ever hoped for. I have never felt so loved before in my life. I’m sorry your life ended this way , I will never recover properly. But we loved each other deeply. I will never feel love like this again. You were my baby girl and I’ve lost you forever.

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