05/06/97 - 31/05/14
Human family: Suzanne Lawson
Photo(s) of Midnight (1)

Midnight

I had Midnight for nearly 17 years until Saturday 31 May. He was with me through bad times in my life such as when my ex-husband was being nasty, and then it was just us. I could see he was getting old and worried we might not have long left together. He went outside as he liked being outside in the summer. I went to the supermarket and got him some nice food, so called him when I got home, ready to dish it out. He usually always came running back, but there was nothing, so I walked near some grass that he liked sitting and in response to my call there was a loud wail as if in trouble. I don't know how long he had been like that but he still called me back so loud. In shock I went running to him and he was just laying there. He kept trying to stand on one leg but kept falling, so my neighbour gave me a lift to the vet who said it seemed neurological as the pupils of his eyes weren't changing to light either. The vet said putting him to sleep would be the kindest thing, and I couldn't think what to do as kept wondering if vet got it wrong. I felt a bit rushed to decide something like that for my best friend of so many years. He died peacefully in my arms with me stroking him how he likes. I still keep wondering if it was right and I feel guilty. I'm so used to him being here, I forget he isn't now and again. He was so clever. I didn't have a cat flap, but he would knock on the door when he wanted to come in. I heard a noise at the door last night and thought for a moment it was him. On the first night without him I tried a meditation in bed to talk to his soul, and the next day I woke early for a Sunday, put on BBC1 One and there was a TV talk show about life after death, so seemed like a message from him that his soul lives on.

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