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I had to call the vet out in the early hours of Tuesday morning to have Bestest Bob (one of my two puss cats) pts. He had some serious health challenges for the last year but I thought he was doing ok, so it was a shock. He was in respiratory distress & I am really struggling with the fact that I didn't stay with him. When I first went to him, he dragged himself over to me to lie next to me on the rug and I got up to go & telephone the vet. I got my partner to go & sit with him but I just couldn't face seeing him like that & couldn't go back in the room. The vet came out in about half an hour or so & was lovely (apparently), but I feel I've let him down so bad, even though my partner stayed with him. I've dedicated my life to caring for my animals & both my partner & I have done everything we could this last year to help him, but I'm struggling with the guilt of not being there when he needed me. I've never been any good at these times, even though I can nurse them when they're ill. I feel I'm not worthy of ever having anymore (I still have a cat & two dogs). Is it just me?

I am so sorry for your loss. These fluffy bundles are family, not just pets and we have all stood in your shoes and felt as you do. Our thoughts are with you and your family. X

Hi Clare, I am sorry for the loss of Bestest Bob. I experienced my cat being ill for a while before I had to have her PTS and she was in a fair amount of distress at that time too. I had the opposite experience, in that while she was really poorly I just couldnt help with all the care, my partner did and I felt really bad. It was almost as if I had to stay calm for her and myself so that my partner could do it. When it came to the time when she was in the vet hospital and had suddenly declined we were asked to come along and I knew there was nothing more to do. I walked into the room and was in shock but I stayed, probably something to do with being able to feel semi in control as I knew what was going to happen but really what I am trying to say is, please dont feel bad for what you couldnt do, remember what you could do and that we all need help and support at times and thats where others step in to help us and the animals.

It is such a short time since this happened, the shock will have you feeling and thinking all sorts of things and going over what you did or didnt do, its natural, but so hard because you cant change any of it. Know that you did what you could at the time and that you loved and cared with everything you could the whole of the time Bestest Bob was with you, even if it feels like you let him down. I hope those guilt feelings pass for you, they are natural, whatever you might have done or not done and can pass on from experience that eventually you will come to peace with the "story" of what happened and not feel so many conflicted feelings. Take Care. Sally

From Facebook page:

"Clare, its hard being a pet owner, the hardest decision ever is having to let them finally suffer no more, it takes more love to let them pass in peace then to suffer, some times there just is nothing more we can do, you will have known you...r cat, there is no guilt to feel, the hardest thing is to love them and stop their suffering, in days to come you will reflect back and then look at a photo and think I did the right thing, but know that your cat is no longer suffering, sending you a huge hug from someone who is very near also having to make the hardest decision in her life, but know that we do it for the RIGHT reasons not because we can't be bothered anymore." (Serine)

"I hated when I lost Henrycat-he went to sleep on my lap in the vets after the injection-it was so peaceful but all this vile green liquid left him after-that was the evil cancer that had been killing him. He couldnt eat/drink/toilet/move th...e last few days of his life-I had lost him already and I couldnt watch him suffer anymore. He went to sleep with dignity-with me and my sister-his "auntie" with him. I have been back and forth over this but I know now I did the right thing for him. My heart goes out to anyone in this heartbreaking situation xxx" (Lucy)

Lots more on Facebook page including:

"oh Clare my darling, it broke my heart reading this, please dont fret...u did what u could cope with, u called the vet, u were there till the end in his mind..xx rest easy" (Julie)

"Dear Clare, When we had to call the vet to send our beloved friend & 14-year companion Mickey Dog to the great playground in the sky last year, it was one of the worst days of our lives. But we took comfort in knowing that we were doing what he would have asked us to do if he could. We were there with him, but have also had to send our cats to their 'forever sleep' without our presence, so I know what you are feeling at the moment. Whatever you chose to do at the end, or if you had no choice at all, the important thing is that your friend knew you loved him & had been there for him all though his life and given him years of your devotion, which he of course has repaid many times over. Our pets don't ask much of us, but they enrich our lives so much and love us unconditionally and trust us, and are often more faithful than our human companions, so it is very hard when the end approaches. We are fortunate that we can ease their passing and I hope you can be comforted by these thoughts and the memories of the happy times you had together. I am sure there is a Heaven for pets and you will meet again in due time. Best wishes, Sarah"

"It is a struggle, and so far I have been at each one of my furbabies side when they died, either naturally or by medically necessary euth. I chose to be at their side, but I know not everyone can do that, it is an individual decision and should not be judged by anyone. It is really hard, you second guess your self and make yourself feel guilty..did I do enough, did they know I loved them, did they know I did my best, should I have gotten a 2nd or 3rd opinion, did they suffer, did I make the right choice. All I can do to comfort myself is to keep telling my soul that I did what I thought was best, I did it out of love, I did not want them to suffer, yet I also did not want to give up on them too soon......even now 7,8,15 years later, I sometime wonder, did I do it right? Did I give them all they needed? Clare, you may grieve in anyway you want, the fact that you question your decisions or choices shows you are good at heart, and you loved your furbaby. Rest in Peace Bestest Bob, know you were loved and will be remembered by your meowmy Clare. Condolances to you Clare as you grieve your loss." (Victoria)

Can I just say how grateful I am to everyone who has posted in reply to my post. I have lost a lot of animals over the years & have never before looked outside my own home/circle for support, but I am so grateful to have found this site. I'm sure Bestest Bob will be so pleased that so many people now know about him:-). I guess I was hoping more people had been in the same situation as I was, which isn't the case, however I am grateful for all the kind comments. I was thinking of putting memorials to all my animals that have gone before on here, but then thought I'd probably take up the whole site! I am still heartbroken & the house is so empty without him, even though I still have Henry (cat), Rosie (dog) & Meg (dog). I actually work with animals & vets so I am going to make more people aware of the site & the support offered. Thankyou all again, Clare x