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Duchess was the first long-term pet my family and I ever had. I had never really encountered a cat before she came into our lives. We had her for sixteen years. She developed chronic renal failure and we finally had to let her go last October. Last July, she got pretty bad, she was blind and deaf and I felt it was time to let her go. But a family vote led to her being allowed to live until it was too late. I came down one morning to bring my dad to work and he told me there was blood all over the floor when he got up, it was like a murder scene. I knew it was time.

We brought to her the vet after leaving my nephew to school. She was put to sleep and we were given the option of donating her body to UCD to allow them to carry out an autopsy on her body so to help cats in the future. I didn't have time to think, I didn't have time to prepare other options, the decision was left to me and I feel I made the worst decision to agree to an autopsy. I would never receive her ashes. God knows where they ended up. I tried to get her body back the next day but it was too late.

Her son Rio passed away in our back garden in 2006 due to an unknown illness and my mam was able to bury him in our back garden. Our dog Sheba passed away just four months after Duchess in January this year, and this time we were able to arrange for her to be cremated. Her ashes are in a cabinet in our sitting room.

To me, it feels like I threw Duchess away. She was the eldest and the longest pet we ever had in our household. I loved her so much and yet I let her go to be cut up and her body tossed out. And yet Rio is in our back garden and Sheba is in our sitting room. I do feel like my mam kind of resents the decision I made. The only thing we have left of her is her collar, which we placed in a glass angel keepsake box we purchased online but it's not enough. I should have her ashes, or at least have been given the choice to scatter them somewhere.

I'll never forgive myself for letting her body go and it kills me everyday.

Lauren - I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful cat but I want to let you know that you did the right thing by allowing her little 'shell' to be used for medical research. The thought that they may be able to help other poor cats with the same problems is amazing and you should be very proud of your unselfish act.
Duchess will live on in spirit around you........... they do you know xx Ashes are only the remnants of an animals body, their souls live on and one day she'll be waiting for YOU when it's your turn to go :) I found the most beautiful little garden statue of a Jack Russell after mine had passed - she sits on my step (where my Dezi used to sit) and surveys the garden she played in for years.
So, please be gentle with yourself, I'm sure you Mum doesn't resent your very difficult decision and maybe between you you can think of your own special little memorial to a very special furbaby - Duchess xxxx God bless you love xx

Duchess spirit is still with you. I promise you will feel her. I lost my cat who was 20 to similar illness. I know in my heart Duchess fought to the end but in the end her body give up not her spirit. You will feel movement on your bed or the odd thud. I still do and its very comforting so dont you worry about that.

Donating her body was a great thing you did. Just imagine what help this could achieve. Duchess would have made a contribution in helping other cats with similar problems. I would be so proud of that. Her legacy will never go away.

You need to grieve and find a path you can cope with. There is no right or wrong so just take it easy. A body is only designed to fail. A energy/spirit/memorys are infinitive so take great pride that you had a good life together.

I promise if you open up to her she will be there with you now. Jet my cat still lets me and the dog know she is about and keeping a eye on things.

Remember that is her home why should she go anywhere else she had the best 16 years in your company.

As most pets are living longer these problems will increase so without the sacrafise you have made other pets will suffer so what you did is a wonderful thing and very brave. You have my admiration for this and im sure you i wont be the only one to say this.

Oh lauren

Never reproach yourself for a decision made when you were so upset Duchess will know in herself you did your best by her and the vets may have learnt invaluable information that may save other cats in the future from going through the same pain - we all as animal servants have to at some point make that painful decision and she will be keeping an eye out at rainbow bridge for when you meet again - she would not want you to be sad :)