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This past week has been horrible. I had to make the difficult decision to euthanize my cat. Everything happened from one day to the other and I didn't have the time to find closure in this situation. I have recently started a new job and moved to a new country. I have decided to get my pet cat with me and for a while, everything looked to work according to the plan. I have just started to adjusted to all these changes, but still I had my support system in my pet which kept me grounded. 2 weeks ago I noticed that the cat was starting to eat less and less, but she was not loosing weight and overall she didn't look sick. I thought it was just fussy about the change in food, so I just tried another brand. I was sure she was healthy, after all she was a 4 year old cat with all the vaccination in order that had just been cleared by another vet to be imported through customs in a new country. But I decided to take her to the vet just to make sure that everything was ok. Initially I got an anemia diagnosis and the doctor suspected some bacterial infection, nothing that could not be treated with antibiotics. Therefore I left the cat hospitalized over the weekend. Late Sunday, the vet called me to ask if she could get a blood transfusion because we need to give time to her body to react to the treatment. Of course, I agreed and looked forward to take my pet back in a few days. Monday night the vet called me again to tell me that there was another symptom, fluid in the lungs and he had a much grim diagnosis: FIP virus. There was no cure, no treatment, no prevention. The next day I went to see the cat, she was basically moribund and I had to make the decision to put her down. I stayed there during the whole procedure, trying to make her feel comfortable.
Now I feel so much pain, disappointment, grief. I cried so much but still this doesn't seem to help at all. I am not sure if I am reacting rationally to all this situation. My family is supportive, but they said after all what I lost was just a cat, and not a human being and if it is so important to me, just get a new kitten. I know they all have good intentions, but definitely they don't see or understand my pain.
I feel I have failed my own pet, I didn't take good care of it and more importantly didn't spent enough time with her because I was so stressed with my new job and all the things changing around me. Now everything looks like a bad dream, I don't feel motivated to do anything and even waking up in the morning seem an effort. I find it very difficult to come back to my apartment, I wait for the cat to greet me, I wake up in the morning at the same time I used to feed her. I have lost my friend, companion and being that supported me unconditionally.I was sure that she will be close to me for long time and no matter what will happen I will always have her to comfort me.
I read that after a time you start to accept this loss and can appreciate the good memories that you had with your pet. But right now I just feel anger, I feel powerless that I could't do anything to help her and I feel guilt because maybe she was in pain for longer time and I didn't notice it. I am trying to deal with all this negative feeling and if anyone has been through a similar situation I would appreciate some real advice. Thank you.
L

Hello Lorena, I am so very sorry to hear of your sadness; to lose your precious cat so unexpectedly and so suddenly must have left you with so many different feelings. Reading your letter, the love you had for her comes through so much and although you have feelings of guilt you must not feel that. My own cat became ill very suddenly, and we don't know that things are going on until a symptom presents itself . You have had a lot going on in your life and my heart goes out to you that when you should be settled in your new life this has happened. She was not just a cat, she was your friend, companion and a great part of your life. We are all here to share your sadness; all have lost precious pets; and always here for you. Take care and remember she knew how much you loved her. Penny xx

Hello Lorena
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet; what really comes across in your letter is just how much she meant to you - please believe me in that there was nothing else you could have done. In fact, most people may not have picked up on the early signs you did. You reacted extremely quickly, and your much loved cat received the best possible treatment.
When my cat Big Fella was put to sleep in January I spent weeks beating myself up over the fact I hadn't spent enough time with him, that I'd emotionally neglected him. I was totally bereft and found life unbearable for a while. The feelings of guilt and loss were all consuming and I felt physical pain in my stomach.
However, please please trust me when I tell you you will start experiencing better days....the pain and guilt will start to lift and you WILL start being about to think about your beautiful cat with positive, happy memories.
Yes, 8 months on I do still have evenings where I feel tearful but I soon begin to think of all my wonderful memories with Big.
Lastly, I'd like to say how supportive this forum was and also Blue Cross run a free pet bereavement service via phone or email which was a massive help for me.
Take care
Big hugs
Michelle x