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Post by Chrisj on 28/7/17: "Me and my wife Emma lost our beautiful baby boy Murphy yesterday after being at the RVC all week after battling his pancreatitis, he was allowed home on the Tuesday as was doing better but we noticed he was struggling to breath so took him back within 2 hours. He had blood clots on his lungs and was in an oxygen bath for 2 days but they couldn't do anything and we had to hold him and say goodbye. Even tho he could barely breath he found the energy to give us both a kiss and we sang to him whilst cuddling him. I know every one says time is a healer but he was the reason we got up every morning and he was never happy unless with us both. He was only 7 so it's so unfair as he was such a brave and loving boy that loved his mummy and daddy. We loved him so much and he made our lives living and gave it a purpose. We haven't been able to go home yet to face his toys and lead and smell and we both think if we knew we could be together we would end it know as life is meaningless now. How do we carry on. Life will never be the same without our boy and mummy and daddy's hearts are broken and we can't cope."

Hello Chrisj I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful Murphy. Feeling your pain and knowing how sad and lost you both feel. The time and love you share with him will give you great comfort in the future, but it is now that things seem unbearable. I felt the same when I lost my beautiful cat Toffee, but found comfort on joining the Ralph site and sharing with others how I was feeling ; friends who understood ! Murphy knew how much he was loved and he had a wonderful life with you; I can tell by the way you speak he was your life and I send you my love and hugs; take care xx Penny

Thank you penny. We have returned home for the first time and he's toys are everywhere, he face is on our sofa pillows our bed pillows and his stuff everywhere. I honestly don't know how we can cope, I can't bare to even pick up his toilets in the garden we bought This house for him because of its location it's garden and everything was for him now life has no purpose and our loving boy who slept on our pillows and kicked our heads in the night and woke us up for cuddles isn't here and life doesn't seem worth it. I'm not an emotional person and have never felt so lost and in pain and I honestly don't think we can carry on. I know this seems so self pitying and he's not in pain anymore and at peace but I don't think we ever will be without our beautiful boy next to us

Hello Chrisj I can imagine how sad and difficult it has been for you to return home and to see all the memories of your precious Murphy's life with you. I remember myself having to face the house with all the things that my dear Toffee had around her . In time some of these things bring comfort; I have photos everywhere which I find comforting. He is always in your heart x take care; thinking of you both with love xxxx

Hello Chris
I haven't been on this site for a while, and I've only just read your post. I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a top dog Murphy sounds, and so very loved.

You are not self-pitying at all. When my beloved Big Fella was put to sleep, I couldn't cope; the physical and emotional pain was unbearable, he was so special. Life was very difficult for quite a while. I thought I couldn't go on without my boy. But, as the months rolled on, and with support on here and from The Blue Cross Pet Bereavement service, which is free and confidential (see their website) I gradually found the good days outweighed the bad.
Please let us know how you are.
Thinking of you
Michelle x