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(My first post didn't upload for some reason so here's a second go - sorry if it ends up being a duplication). Hello. New here and need some shoulders to cry on if that's okay. My dear greyhound boy Twig died three weeks ago after breaking his leg and not making it through the subsequent operation to mend it. He was just 2 years old. I am totally bereft and very much struggling. I am trying to hold it together for my three other dogs but not very successfully. Firstly, he was just 2 years old - I thought we had the next 10 years at least together. Secondly, unlike all my other dogs, I was not with him when he died - the last time I saw him alive was when we left him at the vet's (in complete shock) just after it happened so that they could sedate him and operate on him the next day. Thirdly, he and I had an exceptionally close bond - he never left my side - and I feel terribly lonely without him, despite having the other dogs around me. Fourthly, he was a ball of energy and did everything at warp speed - the other dogs are playful but he was a complete maniac and the loss of that is just so huge all day every day. He'd only lived with us since August - just 6 months - so I don't even have that many pictures of him to put together as I normally would. Twig is the 6th of our greyhound/lurcher family we've lost so I've been through this enough times. But the difference here is that the others lived long and happy lives and, in the midst of mourning them, I had that to cling on to. I don't have that with Twig. All I have is this incredibly strong sense of complete and utter loss. My husband has filed it all in the 'it's too painful to talk about' box in his head. My friends do their best. But I am all at sea. Am trying so hard to keep my head above water but I'm completely failing. It's completely overwhelming me.

Hello Helen, I am so sorry read about your precious Twig; to lose him so young and under the circumstances I can understand how you are feeling. He sounded a wonderful friend to you, your constant companion,and he has left a big gap in your life. You are finding it so hard after having other dogs that have had long lives, and it makes it harder for you that he was so young. He sounded a great character, and I hope in time you can remember that in not such a sad and unhappy way; the six months he spent with you was happy and he was loved so much and he knew that. Our precious pets are our family and the grief we feel is a desperate and lonely feeling; when my dear cat died I found that life became hard to cope with and her loss was devastating. I do understand how you are feeling Helen; your other dogs must be missing him, and your husband is obviously not finding it easy to talk about; you have so many questions as to why, and the fact that he was so young was so unexpected. I am always here for you Helen; take each day at a time; always remembering that even though it was a short time you spent with Twig it was very precious. Big Hugs xx Penny

Helen, Im so sorry, its been 3 months since I lost my beloved Bill, also the same as you totally unexpected. I suppose one thing that gives me comfort is that he was 10. I thought that I was taking him to the vets for pain relief, as his legs were painful and kept collapsing. It happened that it was a tumour, so I had to do it there and then. Guilt, and even a sense of madness came, I belived that I could hear him, smell him. I still miss my best friend, and his ashes have pride of place. I can totally relate to you, not having the bond with the other dogs, because your best buddy has been taken. We now have rescued a podenco, which is very much like a greyhound but from Spain, the life they have is the worst ever. So in someways Bill lost his life, but Ray the podenco now has a life. I still cry for Bill, and I play passenger, let her go, as his anthem, but for you, its going to take time, because Twig was still a baby, and had a life ahead. Your other dogs maybe picking up on your grief, they also willbe feeling a loss. Cry, shout, do anything that it takes to numb the pain, for it is pain and its real, but always remeber with gladness the time that you did have together. Mandy xxx

Thanks, both, for taking the time to post your support. It means a lot. It's been a bad 18 months. Pepper, our old girl greyhound, died in Nov 15 after quite a long mysterious illness; at the same time, our old boy Shadey greyhound went a bit senile and didn't sleep through the night for about two years (thank heavens for Diazepam - for him, not us!!) - we lost him in August 16; in the midst of all that my husband's mother died out of the blue with no warning at Easter last year. And now Twig. I think it's pushed me over, or very close to, an edge I didn't know was there. Twig broke his leg jumping out of the car - he caught the leg in the door hinge. We'd used the side doors to get the dogs out for a long time because it was safer than opening the boot lid. So we thought. I'd never liked the car and had been on about changing it. Ifs, ifs, ifs. If only we'd taken my car; if only we hadn't been in a rush; if only we'd opened the boot instead; if only we'd changed it for another. Grief is a very lonely thing isn't it. Anyhow, thanks to both of you once again. And, of course, I'm very sorry for your losses too. H xx

Dear Helen. You have had a sad year and losing your precious Twig has been devastating for you. The grief we experience is full of questions, if, why; I know myself, and it is something we all go through. After 5 years of losing our cat Toffee, I still experience those feelings, but try to put them to the back of my mind and remember the good times. Talking to others does help; sharing the feelings that we think are alone to us and in fact are felt by so many does help. Joining the Ralph site helped me share the many feelings I had and I have made some good friends. Always here Helen; take care xxxxxx

So sorry for your loss of your precious Twig. I too recently lost my Kendall on Jan 31. Kendall was like your dog, never left my side, always with me of looking for me.I know how hard it is to loose a very young dog also. One of our shih tzu's who was 2 at the time ran out the fence when a family member opened the gate and got ran over by the mailman. I too was so devastated. We had another shih tzu male actually it was Kendall, and between Kendall and me grieving so much I felt the only thing to do to help fill that hole in both of our hearts was to go buy another shih tzu, named Bridgette. She passed a few years ago in 2011 of cancer. Loosing our pets is so very hard, our heart aches and aches for them. Let yourself grieve, its needed to help you though this process, in your life. I know I have lost so many pets in my lifetime. Getting older now but still enjoy my last two shih tzus, they love to take walks but they two miss our little Kendall as do I. I have finally started me a memory box of pics and other things Kendall liked. Its nice to share with the grandchildren, who miss Kendall a lot also best wishes.

Sorry it's taken me a while, KenAngTri, to say thanks for your words. I appreciate you taking the time. Very sorry to hear about Kendall.

We're so lucky to have these loyal companions in our lives but it's also an awful lot of grief to contend with. It just wasn't supposed to happen like this - Twig came to live with us because we knew Shadey was nearing the end (and passed away a few weeks after Twig arrived) and our other greyhound Blue is also an old girl. Just before we lost Twig, we took on Dory because we felt Twig would miss the companionship of Blue when her time came. Twig fell completely in love with Dory and it was a joy to see their interaction. So, I thought it was all great - I had come to terms with losing Shadey, I could focus on Blue in her old age and Twig and Dory were the future. And, then, bang, Twig died. Who could anticipate that? My husband, who usually has much more control over his emotions than I, found it very difficult and needed to try to fill the huge space in the house left by Twig so we took on Spud who is a wonderful boy and very attached to Dory. I take them for long long walks and they are a joy to be around. But, they're not Twig and that's who I want.

The simple fact is that something has broken inside me this time. Perhaps it's accumulation after the horrible 18 months we've had. I don't know. I'm really really struggling. One of my friends said to me the other day, after I said I was feeling low, "Really? Still? It's been over a month.". I mean, would they say that to someone who'd lost a human friend or relative? My own mother derided me (just in a careless way) for collecting up little things that gave me Twig memories, eg a voucher he'd got out of a Christmas present bag and chewed a hole in, saying that it was ridiculous to be making a 'shrine'.

I go through all the motions every day. Walking, talking, doing. But, inside, I feel numb and lost and very very lonely.

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