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Yesterday I lost my soul mate

Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#74 - by Natalie >> Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:15 pm

Yesterday I had to make the heart shattering decision to let my boy of 13 years sleep forever. I am absolutely devastated. My soul mate has gone. x
Posted by: Irene Posts: 29 - Joined: Sun Aug 21st, 2011 05:22 pm

#76 - by Irene >> Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 07:12 pm

Hi Natalie - my heart goes out to you....It is always so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet....and even more so, that you had to start the new year this way.....What type of animal was your boy ? I lost my 4th pet in 2011, on new year's eve, so I too am grieving....Just know that there are folk here who care how you are feeling, and willing to talk to you any time....Hugs to you...
Irene
Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#77 - by Natalie >> Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 07:29 pm

Thank you so much for replying....feel so alone today. I am sorry for your loss. It is clearly extremely raw for you too.
My boy was a German shepherd x rottie. The most gentle giant ever. I can't stop crying...i just want him back. X
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#78 - by Shailen >> Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 11:29 pm

Hi Natalie,

Really very sorry for your loss. Bereavement is an individual experience in some ways but we all understand something of how you must be feeling and share in your pain. Lovely memorial to Kye, bless him. He sounds like a wonderful soul. RIP.
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#79 - by Natalie >> Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 11:59 pm

He was amazing and I feel truly blessed and honored to call him my boy. X
Posted by: Irene Posts: 29 - Joined: Sun Aug 21st, 2011 05:22 pm

#80 - by Irene >> Tue Jan 3rd, 2012 12:21 am

Natalie - I had a look at the picture of Kye. He was gorgeous !! Treasure his memories always in your heart. He will always be waiting for you, over the bridge....RIP lovely boy....Cry all you need to, Natalie...That's what I'm doing.....better out , than kept inside.....As I cry, I laugh too, as treasured memories of my times with my beloved departed pets, come flooding back.....Just take it day by day.....that's all you can do for now....You will be in my thoughts... xx
Irene
Posted by: Charlotte Posts: 4 - Joined: Fri Dec 30th, 2011 09:48 pm

#92 - by Charlotte >> Sat Jan 7th, 2012 02:05 am

Natalie I know exactly how you feel, I had to let Coco my little boy go on the 27th Dec 2011.....completely heartbroken. Hope it helps to know you're not alone x
Posted by: Irene Posts: 29 - Joined: Sun Aug 21st, 2011 05:22 pm

#93 - by Irene >> Sat Jan 7th, 2012 11:31 am

Hi Natalie - thanks for your kind words on f/b , on hearing about the passing of my sister's guide dog, Narnie....As Charlotte says above....it htruly helps to know that we are not alone in our grief....It has helped me so much, to be able to share with like-minded folk here....
Thinking of you today, and I hope that your treasured memories of your lovely boy, are comforting you...
Irene. xx
Irene
Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#96 - by Natalie >> Sat Jan 7th, 2012 12:14 pm

Today is a toughie I must admit. I'm not working today so being home with all of kye's things is hard but I am not ready to put them away yet. I have also fallen into the "this time last week" hell hole. Remembering me and him dancing round to the theme song to the new twilight movie. Its the wedding song in the film and I said to kye "come and have a dance with mummy" and bless him he came trotting over and we had a dance. A card came from the vets this morning but I can't open it just yet....not ready.
Knowing that I can talk about these things here is such a release. I think people are getting bored of my grief now and think that I should be right as rain by now. X
Posted by: Bev T Posts: 2 - Joined: Sat Jan 7th, 2012 04:10 pm

#107 - by Bev T >> Sun Jan 8th, 2012 02:24 pm

Hi Natalie, Thanks for your kind words about the loss of my Holly on 23/12/11 (we called her Doll for short!). My heart goes out to you for the loss of Kye and awfulness of what today feels like. I wish there was a magic formula we could all use to stop feeling like this but we know there isn't. There is a comfort in finding this website and other people who care so much about a companion and a soulmate and how devastating their loss is to them. To be able to 'talk' to them and not feel embarrassed or find a lack of understanding helps a great deal.
I like you feel that people (who don't understand) expect you to have a grip and be over it within a few days. I cry for no reason a thought, an expression or a gesture (such as today) sharing the biscuits out at lunchtime (I still have a cat - who adored Holly). I went to the cupboard today to get both sets of biscuits out because I forgot and cried.
I cry on my own and cry at night in bed.
I know exactly how you feel - the only other small bit of comfort I grasp onto is the fact that Holly had a good and well loved life, spoiled probably! Whereas there are so many other animals out there who are treated cruelly and never know a loving home. At least I know that Holly had the best of everything I was able to give her all the love I had.
Remember we are all here - together XX
Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#118 - by Natalie >> Fri Jan 13th, 2012 12:34 am

I haven't been to bed since losing kye, I've been sleeping on the sofa with his blanket. I collected his ashes today and it didn't really hit me til late this evening. Miss my boy. X
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#119 - by Shailen >> Fri Jan 13th, 2012 01:11 pm

Sure you do Natalie, the missing will always be there but hopefully the hurt will improve slowly in time. There is no set time though, everyone takes a different amount of time to start to feel less raw. I wonder whether it would help you to ring the Pet Bereavement Support Service - sometimes being able to talk about how you are feeling in person can help as well. Just a thought. Details are below:

http://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=21
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: Marie O'Connor Posts: 1 - Joined: Fri Jan 13th, 2012 03:40 pm

#121 - by Marie O'Connor >> Fri Jan 13th, 2012 04:12 pm

there will always be a forever special place in your heart for Kye, where you can hold on to him. Make it a place he would like to be full of the love and special times. This decision you made was for Kye not for yourself. His suffering is over. It's you who must now suffer the pain of grief and loss. I can empathise as I made the same decision on 28th Dec for my beloved Cleo who was almost 13. I put up a memorial for her and it helps. Cry all you want or need to. It hurts! but remember Kye is at peace, thanks to you. It sounds as if he had a great life. He will always be special.
Posted by: Natalie Posts: 21 - Joined: Mon Jan 2nd, 2012 06:12 pm

#124 - by Natalie >> Sat Jan 14th, 2012 04:34 pm

Thanks everyone. I am 2 weeks without him now and I feel much better. Maybe because he is home. Its now the little things that catch me....cooking spag bol and sausages (which we're having tonight so dig out the tissues!) and that sudden moment when i think I've forgotten to feed the dog! His ashes are in a huge casket which makes us chuckle! I keep looking and thinking what am i going to do with that!!

Without this site I would have buckled inwards. Thank you all for going through the loss of Kye and for propping me up....I'll be forever grateful x
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#126 - by Shailen >> Sat Jan 14th, 2012 05:39 pm

Glad to hear that you are feeling better Natalie. There will likely still be some down moments so don't get despondent about them, just have to ride them out and overall hopefully slowly on your way to healing. We will of course be here should you need some more propping up or just to share some more thoughts and stories x
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)

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