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Hi

I only found this site today and been reading posts etc - i lost my wonderful oldest cat yesterday, age 17 - she was my queen Missy Mooshka - She had never been ill until last year where she spent 5 days in vets and then was totally fine - same thing happened to her 3 weeks ago and she was in vets for 5 days - i decided to set up a bed for myself and Missy in the kitchen as she did not like my other cats much but i wanted to be with her just incase she got worse because this xray showed her lungs were very bad - She loved me being there and i would often wake and she would be lying on me- over the next week she got thinner and thinner - i had evry kind of food for her which she would try and eat but just lick the gravy of it - i nebulized everyday - she got a cold and i gave her tablets and the cold went but on sunday she had this look so i knew i had to take her to vets. 2 days she was there - she was always trying to eat a little - when i got the call yesterday i raced to be with her - she started purring but was very weak - so i held her inmy arms while they put the injection in to make her sleep before they did that she looked at me - i am not sure if it was to say bye or cos she was scared - either way i was lucky to be there with her and had one last night with until we buried her this afternoon - it hurts like hell - trying not to think of her then feeling guilty that i did not shut the other cats out at night over the years so she could have me to myself - I miss you Missy - i would give my right arm to have you back - u were my buddy and always there for me - we live in a beautiful part of Kerry, Ireland and she lays right by the mountains and next to a rose bush where they bloom yellow (my mums favourite flowers) my mum passed 4 years ago and i hope she has her with her while i must spend more time on this earth - until them Missy Mooshka, have fun and please come into my dreams and say hello like you did last night

Hi Lea, sorry to hear about your baby. Sounds like she had a very good life being looked after very well right up to the end and what a beautiful final resting place for her. Seventeen is a great age for a cat and how wonderful that she was healthy right until her first episode aged sixteen. As a vet myself, I can say that many cats are not so lucky so Missy did very well, no doubt that has something to do with the life that she had with you. It doesn't sound to me like you have anything to feel guilty about and guilt is a negative emotion that Missy would not want you to subject yourself to. I would encourage you to try to focus on the positive happy memories of her and on dealing with your bereavement and slowly healing as much as you can.

Thinking of you.

It sounds like you had a beautiful bond with missy. You are in my thoughts at this distressing time. I too found this site only when i lost my beloved companion of 13 years on new years day. We have all felt that loss and pain and we're all here for you. Xx

You are in my thoughts too Lea, I lost my cat 2 weeks ago, it was sudden too and the shock has only just worn off. The bond cant really be broken I dont think, its different though and I understand the horrible realisation when you just want them there, in real life. x