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This is my first post on this site. I am in the process of separation and divorce from my husband. We have been separated for about one month. While I miss my husband and his son, I am most able to connect with the loss and sadness associated with our dog (Terry). I was the primary care-giver for Terry. I would walk him, feed him, and take care of his vet appointments. My step-son and I were the ones who seemed to most enjoy playing with Terry. And this is why I didn't even raise the possibility of me taking Terry in our conversations about separation...my step-son (who is 12) really loves Terry. My step-son already experienced the divorce of his mother and father (my husband and I were in a same-sex relationship) and now my leaving is another change/loss for him. I couldn't imagine taking Terry with me and leaving my step-son without his dog. My husband will be sure Terry is taken care of...but he just doesn't seem to enjoy him as much. When I moved here to get married, I brought my older dog, Bella, with me. Bella died after about one year of marriage and then we got Terry. Ugh. I don't like to think about Terry too much because it is too sad.

Sorry to hear about this, Tom. It is not easy. People often think about pet loss in the context of death but what you are experiencing is another and equally valid type of loss that is often overlooked. It is a selfless act not contesting whether Terry stays there and being kind towards your step-son. I am also sorry to hear of your loss of Bella.

Unfortunately, these forums do not get much attention now as we have a private Facebook group that is active and busy. If you use Facebook, do request to join if you have not already. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theralphsite/

Shailen