Forums

My darling dog Chloe had to be put to sleep this week. It is still raw. She was 16 and we had her from 6 weeks old. She has been every part of our lives and every day for 16 years. I can't begin to think how to cope. The problem is that my husband and i grieve 'in different ways' according to him. We have no common ground, and I just feel I don't want to be with him any more. We can't communicate and I can't get any support. I don't know if this is normal? Can anyone help? Thank you

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating it can be. I'm the only one in my family who grieves as openly and seemingly as deeply. I've been lucky that I've always had understanding and support from my partner and children, but other family members haven't been as supportive. Some people do just grieve differently or don't understand how you can be so upset about the death of a pet. What kind of support do you want from your husband? Do you have anyone else that could support you, friends, family, online forums such as this? When my cat died last year, I read a lot about grief and that helped. I also wrote down my memories of him. Your grief is a testament to how much you loved Chloe. You will cope, it won't be easy, but it will get easier. It can't be rushed though. All best wishes.

Dear Lillibet,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss of Chloe. It is very early days in your grief especially after having her in your home for so long.

It is certainly true that people can grieve in different ways. Grief is a unique experience though there are some commonalities. This can put a real strain on relationships at a time when people need to be closer to one another than ever. It is challenging.

Flossy makes some spot-on points. In addition, our blog includes various posts about grief and how people grieve, including the one that will be published this coming weekend:

http://theralphsiteshop.com/

Do you use Facebook? We have a 24/7 private community on there that will be there for you as you grieve. You can also get insights from others who have been in a similar situation to you with their partner. You can find it here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theralphsite/

In some cases, people do need to turn to counsellors to support them in their grief but also in the challenges that it is posing to their relationship.

Thinking of you at this difficult time,

Shailen

Thank you so much for your replies. It is very helpful and nice to know that you understand. thanks also for the useful links, which I will follow. I have friends who support, mostly online, but that is fine. I will do some writing about things I remember when I feel able, but it is too soon at the moment. I might seek some counselling help if I need to but I will give it a while.