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I am finding this very hard and was directed here by a fellow cat lover.

With massive upset and sorrow, my lovely little girl Snowy (aka Pilchard) died yesterday, having been hit by a car. She was totally loved by all from the day she was born and was the girl I never had.

We live 200 yds from the road and I never thought she would go anywhere near there. My other cat (her brother) Fats, doesn’t- I guess Snowy was more of an adventurer and explorer.

I buried her this morning with friends and many tears were shed. She leaves a brother, and many devastated “hoomans”. My son, Albert, who is completely inconsolably heartbroken, his Mum, Louise, who was there when Tilly gave birth to Snowy, my Partner Lucy, who is flying back to the UK today to be with me, my many friends and family, neighbours and work colleagues who were all charmed by her personality.

And me. My life will never be the same. This skinny little super smart silver tabby cat was my everything. RIP Snowy. Pilch, you brought me such joy in your short life x Snowy 16.6.17-28.1.18

It is how on earth I even put one foot in front of another now - I am consumed with grief.

Dear Lee, My heart goes out to you, and I feel tearful reading about the death of your precious Snowy. She was so obviously adored and in her short life made such a great impression on so many. Words are difficult to find to give you comfort ; the joy she gave you will be with you for ever and she will be in your heart always. her brother will be grieving as well ; bless him. Thinking of you all; RIP precious angel Snowy xx Penny

Dear Lee , I can honestly say I know exactly what you are feeling and I am so so sorry for your loss of Snowy you gave her so much love and she knew this I will pray for you and your family at this sad time ,for you poor son Albert give him lots of love at this time and you could show him the rainbow bridge poem which gives comfort to children and adults .
I lost my cat Evie on 28th August 2016 and I was heartbroken I felt guilty for ever letting her out I loved her so much im crying thinking of you and having to write this as it brings back the terrible memories losing my beloved cat this way it is devastating the only way I could cope was to go to church I turned to God who in time has healed me given me peace love and hope that I will be with her again . i was searching that do our pets go to heaven and yes they will be there waiting for us. never a day goes by I don't think of her and I miss her still very much she was a very special precious cat gift from God to me I have photos of her on my mobile i have her toy i carry in my bag he bowls i still have her carrier scratching post which i will keep till the day i die . Lee you need now to find what brings you and your family comfort its the only way to get through this it will take time you all will heal . im only just starting to accept it and feel that bit better after all this time but as i said i will never forget her and i feel she's always with me i pray for her every day when i say my prayers . God sent me a dream when Evie passed it was only brief but i saw butterflies birds greenest grass and bluest sky and then i saw Evie sitting on top of a hill looking so peaceful in heaven amen.May the Lord Jesus Christ bring healing and peace to you all at this very sad time Godbless you all . Debbie

Hello Lee
I am so sorry to hear the loss of your beloved Snowy..
She may only have lived a short life but it sounds like she burned very brightly during her time on this earth. The depth of your love for Snowy comes through so strongly I can really feel the casm she has left behind in all your hearts.
I know how painful grief is when losing a much loved, and extremely special pet. All our pets are a 'one off' and completely irreplaceable. Snowy sounds very special indeed.
Always remind yourself and your family just what a wonderful short life Snowy had. She was very lucky to have a family like yours who loved her so very much.
I have lost three cats and each time the grief is absolutely unbearable; I always feel I will never come to terms with losing my beloved cats. But, as cliche as it is, time does heal and we are left with gorgeous, wonderful happy memories.
Talking helps too, so please do stay in touch- the people on here know exactly what you are going through.
Take care
Michelle

hi Lee I found this poem had it on my mobile and want to share it with you as it gives me comfort .
I made it home .
I just wanted to let you know I made it home , everything is so pretty here ,so white so fresh so new I wish you could close your eyes so you could see it too.
please try to not be sad for me try to understand .God is taking care of me Im in the shelter of his hands .here there is no sadness and no sorrow and no pain ,here there is no crying and ill never hurt again. Here it is so peaceful when all the angels sing .I really have to go for now I have to try my wings .PS Ill be the first one you see when you get here.

Thank you so much - everyone - for your very kind words of support.
It has been the worst experience of my life - she was only a baby at 7.5 months - but made such an impression of everyone she came into contact with. She was my little girl - and i felt so lucky to have her - and i looked fwd to the rest of her life together. In my little country house, me and my 2 cats. That dream is now in pieces and i have to re-build, somehow.

As Penny says, her brother is in shock - he has been with her since the day they were born. He doesn't understand and we are doing our best to show him so much love. He still looks for her though, which adds to the heartbreak.

Debbie, I am so sorry you had this too and I'm happy you found a mechanism to get you through it. I am literally trying to put one foot in front of the other - anything to take my mind off this. I buried Snowy in a small piece of land where lots of local pets are buried. There are headstones, and I will have one made/carved for Snowy. Albert (my son) and I are going to do some work down there to tiday it up a bit, so that we can both go there for quiet time, to talk to Snowy and to reflect (cry), alone.

Michelle - she was part of my family. I live alone most of the time, so Fats and Snowy were my immediate family. We talked, played, ate and watched TV together. On Saturday Snowy and I sat together and watched the football. We were so close as human and cat could be. I am angry that desapite living in 20 acres of land - she found her way to the main road, 200 yds away, she not only took away her own life, she left so many people and her brother behind. We will never understand why despite living in this idyllic place, perfect for cats, she went to the one place that was dangerous.
That single act took her away so young. That's what really hurts, so much unfulfilled life.

Dear Lee my heart goes out for you and your family, I understand everything you are saying we too live in the country quiet here thought it would be safe for our cats , Tilly is 4 this year and is a wonderful cat and we was careful with Evie and Tillynever left them out at night didn't have a cat flap so I could monitor how much they went out she was so precious she follow me everywhere sit with me wake me up in the morning she looked after me when I was very ill didn't leave my side so when it happened I was in shock never expected it and I too Lee was angry she was young only 5 and a half and I though I had many more years to be with my precious girl .why your poor Snowy went that far to the road you will never know and will always wonder why this happened ,but in time I can only promise you it will get easier its going to take a long time I wont lie to you you loved her shes your family that why you grieving and like any loss it takes time to heal and we will never forget them they always in our hearts .thing what's helps is talking about her I felt I had to keep talking about her I would cry but its something I had to do ,going through this was the worst thing I been through because it was unexpected and it upset me that I wasn't there with her to comfort her .where you buried Snowy sounds beautiful and as you say you have somewhere to go and talk with her ,I feel for you so much because I went through it and I know how heart breaking this is sending you and Albert hugs thinking of you and if you need to talk.I am here for you, been praying for you God bless Debbie xx

Thank you Debbie.
You are so kind - everyone has been. A massive trauma for my family, my boy cat Fats and i've had to be the one to be strong, and yet i'm crumbling inside. I hope it does get easier as i feel so wrung out and miserable. Going to take a few days to process this and spend some time with Snowy at her graveside. Hopefully this might help. Thank you again x

hi Lee how has Fats been has he been affected by it when Evie died Tilly went off her food and was sleeping a lot more think she was depressed. i give her lots of love to get over you do the same with Fats he will be feeling it too even if he not showing it .you can give comfort to each other, maybe if you put your trust and faith in Jesus you will find some peace and healing which i did i know i wouldn't be like i am now if i didn't hes changed me so much helped me . not just through this but other things in my life too .i just want to help tell you how turning to God has helped me i not pushing anything on you just like to share my testimony with others .which makes me believe there a God and hearing other peoples testimony's i have peace now which i never had before and hope in life i always felt there was something missing in my life as much as i love my family, my cats i love so much i couldn't fill that void nothing could i be depressed and wonder why am i here, until i found God he can only fill that void make you whole give you that love peace patience hope and joy.thinking of you and praying for you all God bless Debbie xx

Hello Lee
Grief is such an ordeal to go through- so much frustration, guilt, anger, sorrow, depression. I know - as do so many others on here- what you are feeling and going through.
Grieving is a very hard, challenging and difficult process, but I promise you, it takes time BUT you will successfully get through it. You will never completely reconcile gorgeousSnowy's death but I do believe - as impossible as it feels now- that you will find acceptance.

I too live alone with my 4 beautiful cats - they are my family, and last year I 'lost' 2 of my beloved cats.
I always feel intense physical and emotional pain. It is unbearable.
I also feel intense guilt and ruminate constantly on what I could/should have done differently.

Snowy obviously enjoyed exploring, and I imagine had a real curiosity which drew her to the busy area. There is absolutely nothing you could have done to change this.

Snowy may have only been young but what a happy, exciting little life she had! She received so much love and attention from you and many others. Always remind yourself of this.

Take care of yourself and Fats

We are always here

Michelle x

Thank you Michelle.
You are right - on everything there. Still very hard to accept though.
Her headstone arrived today, so i will go and install that tomorrow probably.
Fats is better - trying to alter his routines, play, feeding, sleep - to give me new focus.
He still misses here (as we all do) but i suspect he will adapt.
All of your support is SO appreciated.
Once i'm through this and have some normality back, i can then try to help others, as you have done x